"I'm ready to go home mom,"
Alec said to me last night.
He just finished his two weeks of
vacation and returned to school this
frosty morning for another six
weeks. While this school routine
--6 weeks on, 2 weeks off---may be
envious from afar, it is a grueling, daily schedule
that leaves you exhausted after the six weeks.
Even though Alec was not looking forward to
this morning, last night he packed his backpack
making sure everything was ready. He awoke
this morning to the church bells, got out of bed
and dressed for the day.I so appreciate his
willingness to continue this journey here and
am thankful he is not a whiner!
I must admit, I feel like I'm ready to
go home. Sometimes I just miss the familiar;
the wide open spaces, especially.
While the time here seems to pass quickly,
now and again, I feel like I run into "walls."
---living next to a fortified church with
a wall surrounding its exterior space,
driving on narrow streets
bordered on both sides by walls,
passing through village after village,
where walls of houses are all shuttered closed,
walking along walled paths that block
the view into neighbouring gardens---
these walls no longer feel quaint to me,
but rather suffocating.
Alec tells me we are living in one of the most
fortified regions in the world! Perhaps this is why
sometimes I feel like I am walking upon a
cultural mine field.
Take for example the "faire la bise," tradition in France.
Upon meeting and again upon separating,
it is customary to make the sound of a kiss
while lightly brushing your cheek against
another's cheek. The question then becomes,
"how many kisses" does one do?
Here, in the northeast of France, in the Moselle
department, two kisses seem to be customary.
Though I would appreciate the sunshine of the
south of France right now, I'm not sure I could handle
their "three-kiss" hello and I am definitely grateful
that we don't live just west of us
where there is a "4-kiss" hello! Finistère, the
department hugging the northwest coast of France,
looks mighty appealing to me right now; yes, there
is the ocean but they only give one kiss!
Perhaps you think I speak in jest but the gesture of giving
the kiss can be deadly serious.
Recently, Alec had a rather uncomfortable experience
while celebrating with friends. When Alec asked for
a piece of the delicious chocolate cake that a woman
was cutting, she snapped, "no!" Confused,
her young daughter asked why Alec couldn't
have a piece of cake and her mother responded,
"because he never says hello to me!" In other words,
when Alec enters a room of people that he knows, he
says "hello" to the group but does not go up to each,
individual person and kiss them on both cheeks; a major
faux pas here.
Later, at home, I explained to Alec that while he may not
like the kissing on both cheeks hello and goodbye
routine, he needs to respect this custom. Personally I
I find the faire la bise to be rather laborious.
Some of my french friends who are artists have taught me
that, upon entering a room, you can say "bisous à tous,"
kisses to all! Now this I like though I believe not all
French would accept this greeting. The only good thing
about having a cold here is that when you enter a room
you can say "I have a cold, therefore I will not kiss!"
You can see why at times I feel we are navigating
cultural mine fields. Apparently in the German workplace
kissing is getting out of hand. "A German Society which
advises on etiquette and social behaviour has called
for kissing to be banned in the workplace." I'm not
sure what Angela and Nicolas will do.
"
I find it interesting that while it is acceptable for men
to offer a handshake in greeting it is not so for women;
equality for women has a way to go here in France, but
that is another post.
Trying to delicately maneuver the cultural nuances of
a society can be tricky. Alec, who tends to see things
as black or white just wrote off the woman, who
denied him his chocolate cake, as being nuts! Ah,
the simplicity of a 13 year old. For me, after such an
experience, I am simply grateful to be reading a wee book
entitled Loving Kindness, by Pema Chödrön.
Her words invite me to soften any judgement.
If you want an interesting insiders look into the
French family rent the moving Sky Lab,
by Julie Delpy.
Alec said to me last night.
He just finished his two weeks of
vacation and returned to school this
frosty morning for another six
weeks. While this school routine
--6 weeks on, 2 weeks off---may be
envious from afar, it is a grueling, daily schedule
that leaves you exhausted after the six weeks.
Even though Alec was not looking forward to
this morning, last night he packed his backpack
making sure everything was ready. He awoke
this morning to the church bells, got out of bed
and dressed for the day.I so appreciate his
willingness to continue this journey here and
am thankful he is not a whiner!
I must admit, I feel like I'm ready to
go home. Sometimes I just miss the familiar;
the wide open spaces, especially.
While the time here seems to pass quickly,
now and again, I feel like I run into "walls."
---living next to a fortified church with
a wall surrounding its exterior space,
driving on narrow streets
bordered on both sides by walls,passing through village after village,
where walls of houses are all shuttered closed,
walking along walled paths that block
the view into neighbouring gardens---
these walls no longer feel quaint to me,
but rather suffocating.
Alec tells me we are living in one of the most
fortified regions in the world! Perhaps this is why
sometimes I feel like I am walking upon a
cultural mine field.
Take for example the "faire la bise," tradition in France.
Upon meeting and again upon separating,
it is customary to make the sound of a kiss
while lightly brushing your cheek against
another's cheek. The question then becomes,
"how many kisses" does one do?
Here, in the northeast of France, in the Moselle
department, two kisses seem to be customary.
Though I would appreciate the sunshine of the
south of France right now, I'm not sure I could handle
their "three-kiss" hello and I am definitely grateful
that we don't live just west of us
where there is a "4-kiss" hello! Finistère, the
department hugging the northwest coast of France,
looks mighty appealing to me right now; yes, there
is the ocean but they only give one kiss!
Perhaps you think I speak in jest but the gesture of giving
the kiss can be deadly serious.
Recently, Alec had a rather uncomfortable experience
while celebrating with friends. When Alec asked for
a piece of the delicious chocolate cake that a woman
was cutting, she snapped, "no!" Confused,
her young daughter asked why Alec couldn't
have a piece of cake and her mother responded,
"because he never says hello to me!" In other words,
when Alec enters a room of people that he knows, he
says "hello" to the group but does not go up to each,
individual person and kiss them on both cheeks; a major
faux pas here.
Later, at home, I explained to Alec that while he may not
like the kissing on both cheeks hello and goodbye
routine, he needs to respect this custom. Personally I
I find the faire la bise to be rather laborious.
Some of my french friends who are artists have taught me
that, upon entering a room, you can say "bisous à tous,"
kisses to all! Now this I like though I believe not all
French would accept this greeting. The only good thing
about having a cold here is that when you enter a room
you can say "I have a cold, therefore I will not kiss!"
You can see why at times I feel we are navigating
cultural mine fields. Apparently in the German workplace
kissing is getting out of hand. "A German Society which
advises on etiquette and social behaviour has called
for kissing to be banned in the workplace." I'm not
sure what Angela and Nicolas will do.
"
I find it interesting that while it is acceptable for men
to offer a handshake in greeting it is not so for women;
equality for women has a way to go here in France, but
that is another post.
Trying to delicately maneuver the cultural nuances of
a society can be tricky. Alec, who tends to see things
as black or white just wrote off the woman, who
denied him his chocolate cake, as being nuts! Ah,
the simplicity of a 13 year old. For me, after such an
experience, I am simply grateful to be reading a wee book
entitled Loving Kindness, by Pema Chödrön.
Her words invite me to soften any judgement.
If you want an interesting insiders look into the
French family rent the moving Sky Lab,
by Julie Delpy.
Delpy is brilliant at chronicling
the nuances inherent in family
gatherings.
Speaking of family, Alec did
manage to get a large piece
of that delicious chocolate cake.
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